involves rose being a BNF in a really obscure old wizard book series fandom and she is famous for writing really good fic that pretty much is considered canon since the series is from like. the 70s and super old
and she has LEGIONS OF FANS, most of which are bored middle aged housewives who look back on their good times with this series really nostalgically
nobody knows who RL is or how old she is or where she’s from but they worship her because she is absolutely fantastic and is the Queen of Wizard Slash (And Things That Are Not Slash), a lot of them have crushes on her and picture her as this really sophisticated woman who drinks wine and sits in big leather armchairs by the fire penning stories about magic men romancing each other (and implying that they are doin the dew)
but in reality she’s just a lil baby geek who sits around on her bed listening to her secret fanmixes for all of her wizard ships (nearly all of them have at least one lacuna coil song on them)
and one day her laptop breaks? or something so she makes a post on her phone saying that she won’t be able to update her latest installment in the wizard slash trilogy because the display’s shot or something and she’s not sure when she’ll get a new laptop etc etc (her mom was already on top of buying her a new one but she took her time in coming back because she figured she deserved a break)
AND HER FANS FLIP THE FUCK OUT and arrange fundraisers for her and since rose isn’t a fan of using her phone for checking livejournal she has no clue what’s going on and she isn’t aware that some of her fans found out her address and raised thousands of dollars for a brand new 17-inch macbook pro for her
SO ONE DAY SHE COMES HOME FROM SCHOOL AND HER MOM IS LIKE ?!?!?!? ROSE WHERE DID THIS COME FROM, WHY ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE CALLING THEMSELVES “ROSETTES” AND WHY DO THEY LOVE YOU SO MUCH? and rose stares in shock at the big box on the kitchen table like oh christ
so naturally she’s freaked out and finally gets on her new laptop and is like “hey everyone can we cool it with the expensive gifts, i don’t need this laptop i am sending it back to you all so you can return it and get your money back, thank you for your kindness but this was nOT NECESSARY”
and her fans protest like NO WE…LOVE YOU…… and then she threatens to take down all of her wizard fic and never write again and holy shit they actually comply with her wishes, she has that much power in this fandom
also while they were looking up rose’s address the fans found a pic of mom lalonde and they SWOONED SO HARD, THEY SAW R. LALONDE, BABE ALERT AND WERE LIKE “OMG IS THIS RL??………………………WOW…………..WHAT A BABE, EVEN IF IT’S NOT HER THIS IS MY HEADCANON RL” but nobody really talks about that either (at least not in rose’s presence because they’re scared of her making threats again) and so in secret fan chats everyone passes around the one picture of R. Lalonde that they have and blush and giggle and swoon and sigh dreamily about what a babe RL is
but yeah basically this was based in part by the cassie clare laptopgate thing, rose is the cassie clare of her fandom except not a rude jerk
Conservative:Legalizing gay marriage will destroy the sanctity of traditional marriage.
Intelligent person:Well, what about divorce? Doesn't divorce destroy the sanctity of traditional marriage as well? If so, why aren't you against divorce? What about people like Kim Kardashian who get married for three months and then get divorced? Should we ban her from ever getting married again? I didn't think so.
Conservative:Legalizing gay marriage will open the doors to other types of marriage, like being able to marry your dog, family member, or several people at once.
Intelligent person:People thought the same thing about interracial marriage and it's been legal for quite some time now. I don't recall any doors being opened to interspecies marriage because of interracial marriage. Furthermore, there are several states that allow you to marry your first cousin and I believe that door was opened by traditional marriage, not gay marriage.
Conservative:Legalizing gay marriage will redefine the word "marriage".
Intelligent person:Words are redefined every day and people don't seem to mind. If they redefined the word "marker", would you protest it because "marker" has had a set definition for years? Switching around a few words so that same-sex couples are included in the definition cannot and will not affect your existing marriage in any way, shape, or form.
Conservative:Marriage is about reproducing. Two people of the same sex cannot reproduce.
Intelligent person:What about sterile men and infertile women? They're still allowed to get married. Why not ban that as well? And if you want to get technical, gay couples can reproduce via a surrogate, but that's probably a little too technical for you, Mr. Conservative.
Conservative:Legalizing gay marriage will devalue existing traditional marriages.
Intelligent person:If two total strangers living several hundred miles away from you getting married affects your marriage somehow, then I don't think your marriage was that strong to begin with.
Conservative:The Bible states that marriage is between a man and a woman.
Intelligent person:The Bible says a lot of things, but this country is not governed by what the Bible says. This country is governed by what the Constitution says and the first amendment states, "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof."
Conservative:Marriage and family go hand-in-hand. In order to properly raise a child, the child must have a mother and a father. If we legalize gay marriage and same-sex couples raise children, the children will grow up confused.
Intelligent person:A child does not need to have both a mother and a father in order to grow up secure and successful. If you don't believe me, you can visit the man who lives in the White House. As for same-sex couples raising children, several scientific studies have concluded that being raised by same-sex parents does not affect a child's self-esteem, gender identity, or emotional health.
Conservative:Gay marriage is against my religious belief and as an American I reserve the right to religious freedom.
Intelligent person:Really? Gays getting married will not take your religious freedom away. You're allowed to believe in whatever you want, but you're not allowed to try and impose your beliefs on me by trying to take my rights away. That is not religious freedom.